


Solas POV Redcliffe

by BriarRose (Aryael)



Series: I Danced With You Once Upon A Dream [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, POV Solas, Trespasser Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-14 23:34:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7195760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aryael/pseuds/BriarRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solas' POV for Chapter 30 from What Dreams May Come</p>
            </blockquote>





	Solas POV Redcliffe

**Author's Note:**

> So this is totally dedicated to r who had the audacity (:o) to wonder what was going through Solas' mind during the Redcliffe quest in my fic What Dreams May Come :)

He heard murmuring down the hall; the familiar warmth of his magic calling to him from nearby but he dared not hope.  
   
_She is dead. She is dead for my mistakes just as so many fell before her…_  
   
The Dreadwolf’s thoughts fell into their torturous routine with ease.  
   
The rage at being unable to access his stores of magic. The disbelief at being feared and reviled. The shame and grief at how far his people had fallen… and then her.  
   
The Dalish elf marked for Sylaise who interrupted the Magister’s attempt to open his orb. The woman who fell through his veil bearing his magic in her hand. A slip of a child who had shown wisdom, compassion and hope in her every action. A fleeting presence who had planted seeds of doubt in his mind and stirrings in his heart beyond affection.  
   
He should have listened to Wisdom. He should have…  
   
The sound of a cell opening was unmistakable in the depths of the prison.  
   
“Is someone there?” he called out. The raspy tone of his voice tinged with the undertones of the red lyrium taint made him flinch.  
   
And then there were footsteps, hurried and growing louder as they approached.  
   
He saw her; eyes red and tear stained cheeks. She slowed as she approached, fresh tears spilling from her swollen eyes as his name fell from her lips with sorrow.  
   
“You’re alive!” Almost a whisper; he was scared this was the final leg of the madness brought on by the taint.  
   
He took a hesitant step forward as she fumbled with the lock on the cell door, wrenching it open with desperation.  
   
He heared Dorian’s voice, barely registering the words or the fact that they were not alone, eyes focused solely on Aryael.  
   
Raising his hand, he gently caressed her wet cheek with the tips of his fingers, afraid she would disappear once more.  
   
He closed his eyes as she fell against him, her arms wrapping around his waist and clutching him tightly as he took in a deep breath of her scent.  
   
_She’s real,_ he told himself over and over as he rested his chin on her left shoulder. Pulling her closer against him to satisfy his senses, bodies flush against one another, he murmured, “I saw you die.”  
   
“But I didn’t. I’m right here, ma fen.”  
   
Solas’ eyes opened wide in shock, breath caught in his throat as her words washed over him.  
   
_Fen… Did she…? Is that why she speaks of the Dreadwolf so casually? What did my mark do?!_  
  
“Aryael?” He questioned in a tone mixed with apprehensiveness and warning.  
   
“Shhh. No. Shhh. We have to go back so that none of this happens. This isn’t how it’s supposed to happen.”  
   
He pulled back, loosening his old around her waist and looked down at her.  
   
_What is meant to happen, da’ean?_  
   
His eyes were locked with hers; so warm and bright, mixed with relief, fear and… something he was scared to name. He felt the tentative touch of her fingers on his face, gaze flicking down to note her soft smile.  
   
“I’ve always known. And I never once thought twice.”  
   
His eyes widened.  
   
_Always known? The name placed upon me by my enemies? How? Why has she never said a word? To me? To Cassandra? To anyone?_  
  
She cut him off before he could pursue the subject.  
   
“Shhh. No. This isn’t- just no. We don’t have time. This just may be the only chance I get to say it and I _needed_ to say it.”

He watched her reign in her emotions before turning from him, his mind whirling from her words.  
   
_The da’ean knows much more than she should. Yet she does not speak. What is her goal? Does she also know my role in this particular future?_  
   
He followed their group of companions as they made their way through the dungeons, noting her hesitance at Cassandra’s questioning, her relief in the set of her shoulders when Dorian validated her little lie.  
   
“If this madness is to be undone, we must focus on Alexius.” He needed her to prevent these events from occurring and he would not have his secrets revealed through her own. That was what he told himself. But he knew he simply could not bear the thought of losing her again so soon.  
   
He found a simple staff in the guards’ barracks, remaining towards the back of their party as they moved on, content to watch her for now.  
   
_She is truly a rare spirit._  
   
For all her youth, Aryael fell into the role of leader with ease. She was decisive yet open in her decisions; willing to listen and learn but firm in her convictions. She saw strengths and weaknesses, able to use both to her advantage. And she cared. She truly cared for them all. Her companions, her friends; for _people_ . She was blind to the stark differences that sowed fear and resentment herself; acknowledging them as obstacles yet sure in her desire that they could and _would_ be overcome.  
   
They heard the sounds of Leliana’s questioner and he watched her rush to aid the spymaster. He heard raw emotion in her voice as they entered the torture chamber.  
   
Leliana was curt with her, on a mission to end this all. He watched them with fascination as Ari addressed her, promising her life to save theirs if need be.  
   
_She would martyr herself for those who do not know what she offers. She is the light in the darkness of this world._  
  
Solas was lost in his thoughts as they continued on. He joined the others, dealing with the demons and calling out to the distracted Aryael to close the rift when they had been finished off.  
   
They found the courtyard and he saw her stumble as she stared at the sky, stark horror written across her face.  
   
“The Breach… it’s-“  
   
“Everywhere!”  
   
“The veil is shattered. There is no boundary now between the world and the Fade,” he told her as he furrowed his brow in concentration. Her reaction was to be somewhat expected but…  
   
“But this is not how it should feel… This is wrong.”  
   
_Da’ean, how do you know what it should feel like?_  
   
“We must move on.”  
   
He watched her still as she fought her way through the rifts, waiting for no one as she pushed forward. The desperation was palpable, rolling off of her in waves. She did not like this future. This was not the future she wanted.  
   
_What future does she want?_  
   
Her compassion and distraught at the human taking his own life took him by surprise once again. She felt so deeply, cared so much for those she barely even knew. For those people who treated her own as nothing. His head turned, following her as she left them behind in the boy’s room and ignored Sera’s call.  
   
He barely heard her whisper ‘he dies’ as she hurried down the staircase. Her tone was venomous.

 _Is it revenge you seek? Retribution?_  

They came across another rift, this one larger than the rest and battled ensued. She was a force to be reckoned with, calling storms to her aid and swinging her spirit sword with fury. He frowned as he saw her take an arrow, mentally berating himself for not protecting her more. The battle raged on and he felt his mana draining. The taint had taken a toll on him. The snap of the closing rift drew his attention as his enemy shattered to dust under his spells.  
   
He turned to find Ari kneeling on the stone floor.  
   
“I think she may need some rest. She has closed many rifts very quickly," he said as he approached her.  
   
“The door. Check the door.”  
   
“We need a key.” Leliana said as she emerged from the shadows.  
   
“Split up. Two groups. Find the key.” Weariness was pulling at her body, eyes drained of energy as she gave them their mission.  
   
“I will stay with Aryael in case of any problems.”  
   
“Cassandra you take one team, I the other. Blackwall, Sera, you’re with me.”  
   
“Bull, Varric, Dorian, we shall take the other side.”  
   
“Be careful,” she whispered as they left and he sat himself beside her, facing in the opposite direction of her as she looked to the ground.  
   
“Aryael.”  
   
He called to her, needing answers before he lost the chance. Her silence pricked on his nerves, so desperate was he for her acceptance to _mean something._  
   
“Ayrael. _**Sathan**._ ”  
   
She turned to him, lip quivering as she fell against him, head against his shoulder.  
   
“ _**It’s not supposed to be like this.** ”_  
   
There it was again, her fluency for the tongue.  
   
_Why had I not questioned this more?!_  
   
“ _**And what is it supposed to be like?** ”_  
  
_“ **Not like this**_ **.** ” She grabbed onto his tunic and took a steadying breath.  
   
“ _**You are not what you appear to be, are you?** ”_  
   
“ **_Neither are you._ ** ”  
   
He chuckled. She was right. They both had secrets. She just happened to know his.  
   
“ **_Have you…_** ”  
   
He needed to know how much she knew, when she knew, why she knew. What it _meant_ .  
   
“ _**Have I what? Always known? Yes.** ”_  
   
He wrapped an arm around her, caressing her back with his fingers lazily. Her tone was strained. He had seen how this had affected her; her warring emotions and frantic pace.  
   
“ _**This has been hard for you to see.** ”_  
   
“ _**I didn’t want you to come** ,” _ her confession trembled from her lips.  
   
He stilled.  
   
“ **_You knew._ ** ”  
   
“ _**I know many things.** ”_  
   
He pulled back, looking deep into her eyes, searching for answers to the puzzle that was Aryael Lavellan.  
   
_“ **Who are you?** ”_  
   
“ **_I don’t know_ …** ” Her whispered words brought tears to her eyes and he saw that she was just as confused as he was. She did not have answers.  
   
_This girl knows so much… and yet she knows nothing…_  
   
He was scared for her. For what he would do if he found out she knew his secret in their past. How he would react… He had had a year to come to grips with the depths of his feelings his da’ean. His past self had not.  
   
He wiped the tears from her cheek.  
   
“ _**We will get you back. And you will set it right.** ”_  
  
_“ **What if I can’t?** ”_  
  
_“ **You can. You will. Have faith, da’lan. You have the Dreadwolf’s blessing.** ”_  
  
_For whatever that may be worth, da’ean. I will realize it, one day. Perhaps soon. You are so much more than the victim of my foolish whims. You have changed everything, vhenan._  
   
He kissed her brow in comfort, in awe of her acceptance of his past. 

_The Dalish revile me and yet she... she cares. She only sees Solas..._

The thought was freeing. He felt the weight of the world lifting from his shoulders as they sat there on the floor.

The others soon re-joined them and he helped her to her feet, taking her small hand in his large one. He smiled to himself as he felt her squeeze his palm. He was content. Perhaps for the first time.

They made their way to the chamber, Dorian placing the shards and creating a red lyrium handle.  
   
“Ready?”  
   
“Let’s get this over with.”  
  
 “And here I thought you’d throw me a welcome party.” Ari stepped forward and let go of his hand. It felt particularly empty now.  
    
He watched her as she confronted the Magister, trying to memorize every last detail from the sound of her voice to the way her hair curled near her ear.  
    
“Leliana, please, don’t.” Ari begged, turning and drawing his attention to the woman who now pressed her knife against the blighted boy’s neck.   
    
“Felix!”   
    
“Felix? Maker’s breath Alexius, what have you done?”   
    
“He would have died, Dorian. I  _saved_  him.”   
    
“You call this saving him? Honestly? You have truly lost your mind, you old fool!” Ari cried out.   
    
“Let him go and I swear I’ll give you anything you want.”   
    
“  _I_  want the world back.” Leliana pulled the blade slowly across the boy’s, throat blood spurting out and sliding down his neck as she let his lifeless body fall to the floor.   
    
“No. NOOOOO!!” Alexius cried out, raising his staff and knocking Leliana back.   
    
He watched as Ari rushed in, spirit blade drawn and attacked, immediately pulling the fade to protect her. He would allow _nothing_ to touch her this time. Blackwall swung his blade against Alexius as Cassandra bashed him with a shield while Bull brought his axe down overhead. It wasn’t enough. Alexius pushed them back with a mind blast that had them all landing on their backs.   
    
He and Dorian tried to break through his barrier, sending wave after wave of elemental magic against him. He felt the stretch and pull of a rift coming out behind them.  
    
“DEMONS!” Ari cried before turning to sprint for the rift.   
    
The fight was bloody. They could not hold out much longer, weariness tugging at them all. They had been fighting non-stop as they progressed through the keep. Ari closed the rift, turning her attention back to Alexius who was on the offensive again. Bull circled him as Cassandra attempted to back him into a corner. Leliana shot arrow after arrow until his barrier finally cracked under her persistence and Cassandra saw her opportunity. With a quick thrust, she sent her sword clean through his chest. Alexius gulped for air, blood trailing from the corner of his mouth as his eyes bulged.   
    
They were all out of breath, covered in sweat and blood. Dorian approached the magister’s lifeless body, and kneeled.   
    
“He wanted to die, didn’t he. All those lies he told himself, the justifications… He lost Felix long ago and he didn’t even notice. Oh, Alexius…” The mage sighed as he pulled the amulet from Alexius’ neck, the chain breaking with a loud clink echoing in the silent hall. Solas walked over to stand by Ari’s side.  
    
“I know you cared for him,” Ari’s tone was comforting; warm with affection and understanding. She astounded him.  
    
“Once he was a man to whom I compared all others. Sad, isn’t it?” Dorian gave a small shake of his head, turning to examine the amulet. “This is the same amulet he used before. I think it’s the same one we made in Minrathous. That’s a relief. Give me an hour to work out the spell he used and I should be able to reopen the rift.”   
    
“An hour?! That’s impossible! You must go now!” Leliana’s all but screamed at them.  
    
He was about to agree when the floor began to shake and Ari collided with Solas’ side as broken pieces of stone fell from the roof. He curled his arm around her waist to steady her. The wailing of demons could be heard in the near distance.   
    
“The Elder One.” Leliana said with fear in her eyes.   
    
“You cannot stay here.” Solas grabbed her arms and spun her to face him, desperation clawing at him.  
   
_She would not fall. She would survive. She would right his wrongs._  
    
“Solas-”   
    
“No. We’ll hold the outer door. When they get past us, it will be your turn.”  
   
He pulled her against him and kissed the crown of her head, relishing in the freedom of his feelings before turning towards the others.   
    
“I WON’T LET YOU DIE FOR ME,” she screamed as she followed him. “You can’t die…” she whispered.   
   
He turned to look at her, stoned faced in his resolve. The look on her face broke his heart, tears freely falling as she watched in horror as they willingly offered her their lives.  
    
“Look at us. We’re already dead. The only way we live is if this day never comes. Cast your spell,” Leliana said as she drew her bow and arrow, giving her a curt nod in farewell. “You have as much time as I have arrows.”   
   
_Da’ean… You are such a beautiful spirit._  
    
One by one, they walked out the door, closing it behind them. Solas was the last to leave, Leliana staying behind as the final wall of resistance for when they fell. For fall, they all would.  
    
A horde of demons awaited them, Bull rushed in with forceful axe swings. Blackwall and Cassandra charged in close behind, screaming battle cries as they cut down the wraiths before them. Varric flitted about, stabbing enemy after enemy. Sera’s aim was true, felling demons left and right. Solas called forth bolts of lightening, raising his staff and turning the demons before him to ash. The waves of demons were endless, a constant flow of enemies pushing against them. Cassandra was thrown against the wall, neck twisting in an unnatural way as it cracked against the hard stone. A terror demon appeared under Sera, tearing through her body with ease. Blackwall was swarmed by rage demons, disappearing beneath their flames. Varric, blindsided by a Pride demon, fell beneath its powerful fist.

He retreated towards the door, trying to gain enough distance to swing his staff as Bulls mangled body flew past him and burst open the wooden door behind him with an echoing thud.  
   
“Though darkness closes, I am shielded by flame.”   
    
Leliana let loose her arrows, dropping mages and demons by the second. He threw his staff aside, raising his hands to shoot arcane bolts and shards of ice at the approaching demons as he stepped over their fallen comrades.  
    
“Andraste guide me. Maker, take me to your side.”   
    
Leliana was swarmed by demons, using her bow as both staff and sword, she hacked at them, diving and rolling as she let them fall to dust around her. He stumbled as arrows pierced his body, falling to his knees from the pain. He barely registered Leliana’s fall or Ari’s cry.  
    
Solas pulled on what was left of his mana, a final act born of the desperation to keep her safe and sent sharpened ice flying towards the demons, drawing a spirit sword from the Fade and slashing them down as they surrounded him. They were everywhere him now, he would fall soon. He sliced through the neck of a despair demon, its wail filling his ears as he felt a sharp pain through his chest. He faced Ari, watching her petrified face as the light grew stronger behind her. He could feel warmth trailing down his chest, the gaping hole filled by the hard arm of a terror. It was over.

_"Ar lath ma, vhenan…"_

He confessed the depth of his feelings in his final moments, a content smile spreading across his face as the darkness of death closed in around him. She had disappeared into the light. She was safe. And his pain was over.  
 

**Author's Note:**

> Da'ean: little bird


End file.
